Huh ?

I quite surprised that I cannot save my work in JPG !!!
Well , I really hate it because it saves other people time to open up the file and export it. Now I have PSD and PSB file . I have no idea it turned out to be like that.
= =|||

Anyway ... Lately I watching Lupin the 3rd. Some kind of old anime but I'm quite disappointed because 50% of the story was BORING but the great thing is it gave some inspiration to me to draw more of thief / gunslinger characters (although I'm weak in drawing hands because lately I didnt practice my drawing) ...

LUPAN OH LUPAN

Campus life is back ...

... with disasterous burden of works and pressure ...
Even with new (not really new , second-handed) laptop ...
I still affraid I could not cope up with my studies , even my current job ...
I still remember ... the moment I became very angry
this year because I lost my precious tools , my Compaq laptop ...
also my huge manga project ...
Also pushing myself re-style my 24yrs-ゴゴゴ : the origin 1st episode ...

Thanks to GOD ... I'm still alive ...
I still can do my work ...
But the thing I fear for now ...
I can't even think my idea for my fine art final work for this semester ...

Regarding to art trade ...
closed for now ...

Art Trade
-Yoshiminukawa (Arisa - http://yoshiminukawa.deviantart.com) : 70% progress
-ibahibut (http://ibahibut.deviantart.com) : start colouring (20% progress)

24yrs - ゴゴゴ: the origin and stuffs

the last chapter of 24years : the origin will be completed within 2 weeks .
and animation project within 28 days

sometimes ... i'm a kind of whore attention seeker .
I dont really like this part of myself ...
being a loner is the best thing for me ...

Hometown

Yesterday evening ... I arrived at my hometown . When I returned to my house . A lot of things happened during my studies and work . A very troublesome family .

Hungry days returned ... with a pain to get online ...

Anger ...

finally anger become my clad . Someone who's shitty from Isuramu Group made me very angry , so I decided to block her forever . I really hate her . One thing to say for her : GET LOST .

One more thing : DONT EVER PASS MY NUMBER TO UNKNOWN PEOPLE OR ELSE I'LL KILL YOU ALL

Happy family...

I wished one ... happy family ... but ... myself ... I dont really cope up with them ... even my own blood family ... I dont feel anything with them ...

Maybe my heart spiritually hard ... Looking people with his / her happy family ... I just nothing but a stand alone stool . Just watching ... It hurts ...

Thank you for being my friend ...

I'm quite ...

... busy with my current situation in my life . Seriously , no time to update my blog . Currently I have 4 final work and 1 exam paper left . After that I'll continue my life as a mangaka .

Gaia Online : Quite lazy
MapleStory (FB) : VERY LAZY BECAUSE HARD LEVELING SYSTEM
MapleStory (pc) : Mechanic lv 70 , SoulMaster lv 40++ (cant remember)


Ahhh ...
Last raya ... A friend from my campus came to my house ... I really appreciate it . Thank you ...

Holiday

Holiday eh ...
Its not like Im having holiday but its
WORKING TIME , you know .
ASSIGNMENTS STILL ON GOING , WORKS STILL ON GOING ...
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Simply said , NO TIME TO REST AROUND .
Need fund to continue my life
in terms of food and assignment stuff .
Need fund to buy a new laptop / PC ...
Still working and studying ...

Time management ...
You all need to do the most
important thing based on priority .
To me , academical things I dont really
care but what I learned is important .

If you want to hell me , it's fine .

Failed to update = ="

Ergh ...
no time to update . = ="
sometimes I had very hard time to do works ...
ASS-IGN-MENT , WORKS , SC ...
ERGHHHH ...

I'VE GOT ADDICTED TO KIRISAME MARISA
... from TOUHOU .



It's a very long time to play Touhou games ...
need some time to download and play for fun . = ="
RELEASE YOU TENSION TO SPARKY MAGE !!! oops . WIZARD .
And I made an ... errr 2 artworks related to her .
1) pencil works [completed]
2) oil pastel on MDF board (2 x 2 feet size) [in progress]

Someone wanted to buy that oil pastel artwork for RM50 .
Student price , eh . Quite good . o o"
OK.

Anyway , time to get on work !!!

Digital painting ?

Tablet of life ~

Finally I got my own drawing tablet . XD
I bought it from my junior (Dacy) . Around RM170 .
but I need to pay 30 more because I only paid 140 .
Anyway , new project , new job , new semester
(did i already mentioned that before ? = =" )
Naaaah , it doesnt really matter because
I'll hone my skills in digital painting .

New day , new life , new policy , new semester

Its still the same as before , back to previous semester ...
same procedure to register yourself for study in campus .

Now the guard become UiTM Royal Guard Police .
Thats suitable for them . = ="
New artworks , new job , more busy-ness ...

My new policy : I'll not trust anyone around me . Loner is the best solution for me .

Life without important things ...

Erghh ...
Now , I cant find my laptop anywhere .
Possibly sold by the thief .
I really hate it ...
But , at the same time , I learned a lot .
From ppl who enjoy
hybrid otaku to 75% isuramu , 25% otaku .
Currently I just do manual
painting using watercolour .
1 artwork was made but since I
dont have laptop to use for scanning ...
maybe later I'll upload
it to deviantart and pixiv .

Now , I really thankful to God because
God gives me some good friends .
especially in Isuramu to Anime Kingdom Group .
there's someone who give good
advice in convincing way of Islam .
One day I'll change the blog's background picture .
God Willings .

The Hardcore Trials ...

I'm having hardcore trials from God ...
Lappy , artworks , everything important are lost in a bag , maybe stolen by someone .
I felt really down , until today .
But someone from Isuramu Anime said , dont worry , Insya-Allah you'll get better things from the "musibah" . Well , I tried everything to search my bag but still no clue about whereabout the bag . Cant cry but that's my devices I need to do editing and comics .

God , gimme back my bag ...



Elodea : Dont be sad , Haru .
Haru : ... -feel down-

Finally ...

... the torture ends ...
now I can continue my own manga / fanfic .

manga :
24yrs - ゴゴゴ : the origin (Saif Comic)
24yrs - ゴゴゴ : antara cinta dengan ketidaktentuan hidup (remake of BM version 24yrs)

fanfic :
Amagami : the deserted boy

original novel :
24yrs - ゴゴゴ : antara cinta dengan ketidaktentuan hidup (BM version)

working with :
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Troublesome guy

Ergh ...
I dont really like myself today .
It's unacceptable .
I cant buy a drawing tablet .

Feel regretted myself .
Im such a moron .

But dont worry , soon ,
I'll face a big failure awaiting .
Because ... printmaking .
I really hate it . = ="

Useless me ...
Wanted to have "kanojo" ...
but my "face" is unsuitable for that person ...

Still alone ...
No one will hear me ...
Like a wolf howling at the moon ...

It's still the same ...

Its so sad ...

When a family in a crisis ,
the worst possible outcome are ...
divorce .
It's so sad to hear a friend
having that crisis .
The worst thing I ever done ,
I left my family to survive myself
with my hatred to them .
= ="

I hate my kazoku .
but I know I still have
responsibility to them .
Im not like them ,
They always get what they want .
Hardship is the way
of my life for now .

Please , dont hate your family
just because your family have divorced .

Flood of busyness !!

Im really busy this week . Got almost 6 projects to be accomplished .
Naaah . I really hate myself today ... until Friday next week (maybe?) ...

God ... Give me strength to accomplish all of my works ...
I cant fail this time ...

Zamenda ...

It was disappointing ...
To see myself drown in my own lust of pleasure .
It was disappointing ...
To see myself crying for love .
It was disappointing ...
To see myself failed ... in everything ...
It was disappointing ...
To see myself at past who do not consider other people's feelings ...
It was disappointing ...
To cry at times like this ...

I HAVE TO GO ON WITH MY LIFE !

pressure ...

130/75 .
Im not really well today ...
I just feeling i wanted to stop my journey ...
Lost my motivation ...

But I still have to continue my life ...
As a Muslim ...

That's my resolve to continue my life ...


Life is meaningless to me without someone I love truly besides God ...


I ever thought this when Im doing my painting ...
Why I cant do something that giving people to understand what is life about ?
Even Im clueless why Im still exist here ...

I have purpose that need to be accomplished ...
I have the resolve .

Do you have your own resolve to continue your life ?

Another thing ...

Well ...
I know her ...
3 times face-to-face .

O God , don't let me fall in love or else I'll sad and cry endlessly ...
Give me the true love ...
Give me the "Elodea" I beloved most from the high content of Iman ...
Give me the strength to endure all the trials from You ...
Give me back the nikmat of understanding other people's feelings ...

I've lost that nikmat almost 9 years ...
I've lost my beloved Nee-chan almost 11 years ago ...
I've lost my way to the God ...
I've lost everything in my life ...

Gomen na ...

Malaysian stupidity increases !

now , the first malaysian woman made an stupidity sickness . = ="

regarding to CNN posted an article about the caricature

latest information regarding to caricature

Errr .... someone asked me for latest info about the Malaysian caricature which annoys Japanese .

I said , no updates about it for now .
I'll gather the info ASAP .

XD

= =

WHATS THIS ? THAT WIIL MADE OTAKU-
I MEANT JAPANESE PPL , WILL ANGRY !!!

IT SUCKS TO BE A MALAYSIAN . = =

Fear of the loss

o o
Actually Im not very good in love .
Suddenly I become scared . Scared of losing someone important in life .
I really scared . I fear I will not be able to meet her again .

When I saw her face , it calmed me from my anger delusions . But at the same time , I felt very down . My feelings will not reach her . And I fear , when that time comes ... I cant convey my feelings towards her .

She treated me as a younger brother to him . But to me , she's the replacement of my lost beloved one ...

I can't cry but I'm crying deep in my heart . My voice will not reach her ...

trip !

sorry ...
im too lazy to update blog .
its quite a tiring day ...
more sketches and live painting . o o

cimoc fias morf tiuq i

... elbigille ton mi . eromyna cimoc fias rof cimoc gnikam pots i

? yhw

... yalam ni rewsna ym

sebab2nya ...

aku ni otaku , bukannya seorang dai' . aku x sesuai untuk menjadi seorang dai'
mengapa ?

sedangkan aku x mengikuti sunnah Nabi Muhammad , camner aku nak sampaikan dakwah ?
apatah lagi dgn keadaan aku ? jangan mimpilah aku nak jd dai' ...

xpayah la ...
aku taknak berpura-pura dgn diri sendiri ...

yg penting ...
aku kena tunaikan apa yg patut ...
= =

DEADLINE !!!

AAAAARRRGGGGHHHHH !!!!

Lots of works to do !!!
this week is the deadline of manga of Saif Comic .
Printmaking works !!
dual trips !!!

naaaahhhh .
need to take a break of this .
= =

fine art exhibition

actually just now i had my exhibition of oil painting , which that kind of painting was one of my worst weakness ...

i felt down ...
watching other ppl can do perfectly ...
not like me ...
just an otaku who's weak at oil painting .
other than that i dont really care much ...

i feel so lame today ...
i tried my best ...

maybe i should concentrate to my manga skills than fine art skills ... = =

Otaku's Anime Assignments

weahhhhh ...

lots of things to do . as a mangaka , fine art student , as a muslim , as a son of my to-san and ka-chan ...
lots of responsibility .

this morning i made a line art of my original characters based to Amagami SS .
Kusanagi Haru X Kazeshiro Elodea based to Kamizaki Risa X Tachibana Junichi .

I'll upload the full artwork later , maybe 2 weeks due to busyness i have now . = =

Glass cage

last night i dreamed something horrible : i cant reach someone i love because im trapped inside a glass cage . she tried to save me but it ended up like i was killed inside a glass cage . she could not save me . deep in my heart i feel the pain from my past memories . the fear of fail in love . i affraid i broke her heart or she will broke my heart . same as the last post :

kimi wa kimi no mama de
boku wa boku no mama de
subete wakariaetara

if i cant completely understand ppl now ... i affraid the past will be repeated .
-cry-

deep cry in my heart enduring loneliness

suddenly i remembered my past after listening to 2nd opening of Amagami SS .

kimi wa kimi no mama de - you just being you
boku wa boku no mama de - and me just being me
subete wakariaetara - if we could completely understand each other

even i cant understand other ppl ... deep in my heart , im crying for my stupidness .
because of this , i failed lots of times .

if i could have a girl who completely understand me and make me mutually understand each other ... i dont really mind who she is . as long as she's with me , we'll endure anything even the tragedy will fall between us .

God , give me any girl that suits me fine ... Don't let me crying alone ...
I want to experience it once .

update #1

i already added clock widget and my deviantart gallery gadget in this blog . feel free to check them out . XD

くさなぎ はる

Refreshing my mind

Well , Im not very good at these but the method Im going to use : making Muslim manga .
maybe it helps to hinder my interest to NTR / HENTAI / PORN RELATED STUFF .
o o

Idle ??

well ... i dont know if i really need to update my status but ...
for now im too lazy . o o
because i have many projects to do as well as university assignments .
waaarghhh i hate assignments !!!
now i can draw potraits . (well not very experienced anyway , just drew 2 of them)
maybe later ... o o

another thing . why some otakus love hentai stuff ?
you know , we're exposed to porn related stuff @ internet , DVDs , anything can induces guys sexually attracted to women like big breasts , beautiful body , exposed breasts , erotic poses whatsoever . same as me , i was exposed to h-related stuff by hentai made by schoolmates . zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

maybe i better draw loli anime style next time . = =

Share our thoughts

well , most of you know , in Malaysia , blogs and facebook will be inspected to remove any dangerous threats in the country . i think some countries do the same thing .

affraid my account will get banned


regarding to purpose .

i think i'll share with you all why ppl love hentai , NTR , porn related stuff , base on my experiences . maybe in the next post .

fell in love with Busujima Saeko

Awwwww man , Kusanagi Haru fell in love with Busujima Saeko !
I can't say anything much but Kazeshiro Elodea will sure drain his powers until he have no powers as Android .

Finally I got the new name of the character in the Dark Trinity . The main character will be Abano Hagaite , Half-elf , half-human unlisted Prince of Elemental World Kingdom .

The characters will be available in Dark Trinity (not confirmed yet) :

-Abano Hagaite (Lost Prince of Elemental World Kingdom)
-Princess Eir Peltrow (Princess of Lunia Kingdom)
-Arane Gokichi (Fire Empress / Mistress)
-Arane Elea (Water Empress / Mistress)
-Arane Windo (Wind Empress / Mistress)
-Arane Aussa (Earth Empress / Mistress)
-Arane Ruka (Dark Empress / Mistress)
-Arane Shiria (Light Empress / Mistress)
-Arane Yukie (Ice Empress / Mistress)
-Arane Makie (Lightning Empress / Mistress)
-2 more Empresses / Mistress
-Elemental King
-Queen Larche
-Empress Larachne
-Black Priest
-Black Elves
-Elemental Kingdom Soldiers
-All Androids from previous Elemental Matrix series including :
-Kusanagi Hatori
-Kusanagi Haru
-Kusanagi Haruko
-Kazeshiro Elodea
-Syarafi
-the Vaizard Hafizi
-Kadamata Rei
-Izzatul Idris
-Eley

... and many more .

New Day , New Life , New Semester

Today was my first day of my 4th semester of my studies of fine art in UiTM Melaka , Malaysia . Since 30th December last year , I lived in a rented house somewhere near my campus . During the gap between 30th Dec to today , I made various sketches for my friend , Aihara Arisa , the one who studying in the same campus with me . =)

Regarding to Dark Trinity , the first episode will be available within a week to complete the whole episode . I don't have time to summarise the episode for now , due to my busyness and my personal lives . Sorry for late update because my place do not have wifi . XD

くさなぎ はる